As I emerge from the beauty, self-evaluation and repentance of the Jewish New Year and Yom Kippur, I am struck by the difficulty of the task that lies ahead of me and the enormity of work I have to do…on myself. But like with many other aspects of life, this transformation is not simply a one-shot deal or quick fix, but rather a slow, deliberate attempt to make the necessary changes.
As we all learned in Psych 101, the first step in making any real change is the acknowledgment of the changes we need to make. Although I am acutely aware of some of my shortcomings, self-reflection can be somewhat overwhelming; like looking at our reflection in a magnifying mirror under the harsh florescent lighting of a hotel bathroom. Seeing things in this glaring light makes it more difficult to strike the appropriate balance and focus on our whole being. The little blemishes in our persona seem exaggerated and we become so transfixed on looking at our shortcomings we neglect to acknowledge our accomplishments.
So how do we go about an inner redesign? How do we untangle the intricate web we’ve spun?
Tangled web
Well, I’ve decided to take a slow- home approach to my inner being, much the same as Irwin and I have adopted in our country lifestyle. Rather than embarking on an extreme make-over, which would be much like throwing out the baby with the bathwater, or doing a home tear-down when only one room needs attention. I am approaching my inner décor redesign slowly, with forethought and a definite plan. Segmenting that image I see in the mirror and tackling one section, “one room” at a time.
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Segmenting the mirror
this particular one is our 20th century wagon wheel Mirror
I will make small changes, re-purposing where possible, then stepping back and evaluating before moving forward. While I know that any change can be difficult, I also know that less is often more and in order to create a sustainable inner core, I must let go of much of the clutter that I’ve accumulated over the past year.
Much like the serenity prayer, my goal is to “accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference." While I know there may be setbacks along the way, my direction will remain constant-moving forward slowly and deliberately learning and growing along the way.
Wishing all of you a wonderful year filled with health, happiness & prosperity!
You never fail to make me stop, breathe, reflect. Your words are like a balm to the soul. You inspire me to reach the same heights, the same goals, the same tranquility.
If only John. It is easier said than done but I am trying to make some headway. And you are right- what choice do we have?? lol
I concur with the comments above me - this post is lovely, thought-provoking and moving. It is a blessing to share your heart and your process this way. And you have a wonderful knack for metaphor. I love the idea of "slowhome-ing" my inner self, and the idea of a room-by-room renovation makes so much sense!
I so often (in my physical life and my inner self) want to just tear the house down and start over. Your post is a great reminder to be patient with the process. Thank you!
Hillary, really missed you this summer. Glad to see you back in my stream and delighted that you liked this post. I think knowing that we share this commonality helps us all deal with these very real struggles.
And Becky, so happy you took the time to stop by and read this post- hope you return often and share your thoughts.